Barry's Sprüche - Seite 2 / Page 2

Sprüche, die Barry zum besten gegeben hat:



Barry was performing in Las Vegas:

Barry: "This time I'm staying in a private house but last time I stayed
here at the Hilton and they gave me the Elvis-suite.

I thought, wouldn't it be fun if they named each room after an Elvis song?

Like the "Love Me Tender"-bedroom or the "Blue Suede Shoes"-closet or the
"Don't Be Cruel"-toilet.

I mean, they could do this for me, too! The Barry Manilow-suite with the
"Could It Be Magic"-bedroom and the "Let's Hang On"-closet and the "Trying
To Get The Feeling"-toilet."

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Barry: "Diesmal wohne ich in einem Privathaus, aber letztes Mal war ich hier
im Hilton und sie gaben mir die Elvis-Suite.

(Elvis hat seine größten Triumphe im Hilton Showroom gefeiert. Im Vorraum
ist sein Bühnenanzug und seine Gitarre ausgestellt.)

Ich dachte so bei mir, wäre es nicht lustig, wenn sie jedes Zimmer nach
einem Elvis-Song benennen würden? Da gibt's dann das "Love Me Tender"-
Schlafzimmer, den "Blue Suede Shoes"-Umkleideraum und das "Don't Be
Cruel"-Klo.

Ich meine, sie könnten das ja auch für mich machen, die Barry Manilow-Suite
mit dem "Could It Be Magic"-Schlafzimmer, dem "Let's Hang On"-Umkleide-
raum und dem "Trying To Get The Feeling"-Klo."

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Barry, after he had finished "The One That Got Away", during the "OOOhhhs"
he is swivelling his hips:

Barry: "I don't know what you're applauding - the song or the "Oooohs."

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Barry nach "The One That Got Away", wo er bei den "Ooohhhs" immer ganz gekonnt die Hüften schwingt:

Barry: "Ich bin mir nicht sicher, ob Sie dem Lied applaudieren oder den
"OOOhhhs".

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Spring BarryGram 2005:

“Try changing the words ‘have to’ to ‘get to.’ For instance, instead, of saying
‘I have to see the doctor today,’ try saying ‘I get to see the doctor today.’
It will change your life.”

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Barry was getting over bronchitis and he was looking around at the theatre:

Barry: "Wow, this place goes way up. We have got nose bleed up there and
nose run down here."

***************************

Von seiner Bronchitis berichtend, schaut er sich im Theater um und sagt:

Barry: "Wau, das hier übertrifft alles. Dort hinten haben wir Nasenbluten
und hier vorn läuft die Nase".

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Blenheim, UK, July 2004

Barry: "Ok, I think I'm freezing. Are you freezing?
Have you people ever heard it's July... it's summer!

The Duke of Marlborough is here tonight. We are friends!
We are! That's because I'm kind of royalty myself.
I'm a Laird! I'm the Laird of Camster, that's because I've nine inches!
Of land!!! I mean of land! You filthy slobs!

Someone gave me nine inches of land. They gave me the title 'the Laird of Camster'... so kiss my ring!"

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Glasgow, May 2002

Barry: "I'm getting old! Have you noticed the older you get the slower you
pee?"

***************************

Barry: "Ich werde alt! Habt Ihr bemerkt, je älter man wird, umso länger
dauert das Pinkeln"?

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Glasgow, May 2002

Barry: "I save everything - I'm wearing underwear from 1964!!!"

***************************

Barry: "Ich hebe alles auf - ich trage Unterwäsche von 1964"!!!

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Barry: "Whenever anybody screams and I don't know why, I just assume
that my fly is open."

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Barry was singing "Some Kind Of Friend":

Barry: "I don't know what you are screaming about!"

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Manchester 2002

Barry: "Is it like hot out there? Can somebody turn on the air-con?

Are you impressed? Really, I got also the slang down!
Although, I precisely don't know what I am talking about.

I've just figured out what shagging means!"

****************

Barry: "You know, what is interesting about you guys in the U.K.?

I can say tits and penis on the stage and nobody seems to care. They
would arrest me in America if I did that! "

****************

Barry: "It is so great to be back here in Manchester. So, thank you for
coming back!

Last time we were here... boy oh boy oh boy... I call it the massacre in
Manchester. Last time we were here, we were ending the tour and everybody
in the UK had this incredible flu/bronchitis thing and I thought I would make it through and I did.

I was doing everything... not talking to anybody... I was donating money to
the churchs and synagoges...

And I got here... and I felt it started to come on, the flu and bronchitis...
and then the night before Manchester I had gotten up in the middle of the
night and slammed into a piece of furniture and broken my toe!"

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Barry on british soil - 1990

During a concert he wore a "bird-of-paradise-suit" and the waistcoat was
decorated with hundreds of golden badges and medals. He turned around
like a peacock showing his colorful feathers - to everyone's amusement:

Barry: "The tailor must have run out of cloth and so he took all remnants
he could find, hoping some idiot would buy it... I bought it..."

****************

A CSWY-girl ran her fingers through his hair and he cried:

Barry: "Don't touch my hair."

Then he opened his jacket and asked

Barry: "Is there anything else you wanna touch?" (she wanted...)

****************

One night it seemed as if he was "fighting a cold" again. He sniffed a lot and
then decided to blow his nose and was joking around:

Barry: "When this guy is blowing his nose this will take a loooong time!"

****************

Debra had everything, something to drink, a handkerchief - but Debra and
Barry were separated by the transparent curtain.

So Barry whisked his arms like a windmill to signal that he wanted the curtain
to rise again and he could grab the urgently needed hanky/Kleenex. He blew
his nose, almost with his head on the floor:

Barry: "Disgusting, it's disgusting,"  he cried. And sniffed again... 

****************

One of the jokes he told was about the Queen and her horses and he didn't
dare to tell it... so he took a tape recorder and played the thing for us
repeating every word:

Barry: "I am not responsible for the nonsense!"

Next night he wanted to do it again but someone had forgotten to rewind the
tape. So he stood there with the tape recorder at his ear ... search - listen... search - listen... nothing. Then he threw the machine into the corner.

****************

Barry also told us what had happened to him in his puberty. One morning he
woke up and found that his nose had gotten bigger.

Barry: "Over night the Concorde hooter was born."

But not only his nose had grown, thank God, something else had gotten bigger,
too. And he demonstrated very vividly how it's changing a boy when the new equipment is starting to lead its own life... (in England they call it "Willy") 

****************

He told us... the strangest hair was popping out of his body everywhere and
he got pimples as big as Mount Vesuvio and his voice was cracking when he
spoke. But he found out that things like that happen to every boy and they
all look pretty strange at that age, except for him, of course. And on the
screen behind him we saw photos of the band and the singers when they
were youngsters but in the center a youth portrait of Barry stood out - it
looked pretty strange:

Barry: "I'm really brave to show this picture to the world, but I haven't
changed that much..."

****************

One night when he was talking about the beginning of his career where he
went totally broke he said:

Barry: "I lost everything!"

A lonesome shrill laugh from a (very young!) girl was heard and he noticed:

Barry: "What a strange crowd this is tonight. Yeah, I lost everything. I lost
my arm, I lost my leg..."

****************

Barry: "Everywhere I've got these wonderful audiences around the world,
but only in England I've got these screaming women. I don't mind a woman
screaming when she's screaming for the right reason..."

And then he told us that men these days really have their problems. In the
60's women burnt their bras and now

Barry: "You don't need us anymore!

I recently dated a girl in L.A. and in her bedroom she had this very big thing.
She said she is using it for her back. And she showed me what a Black &
Decker vibrator is able to do - three speeds: first, second and Oh, my God!" 

(various functions), which he demonstrated and then she asked him,

"Can you do this?" And very resigned he said, "No." (And did not only hang
his head....)

****************

Before the intermission he said:

Barry: "Now you can all go to the loo!" 

****************

He did the unbelievable Barry-fashion-show. Within a few songs he put on
each and every jacket he had worn during the tour: the red one, the yellow
one, black & white stripes, red & black stripes, leopard-printed, the "bird-of-paradise" and said:

Barry: "I have spent a damned fortune for you all."